20 Now..

So… I’m officially 20! No longer a teen and now I am definitely classified as a full grown adult! … So why is my life such a mess?!

I’ve learnt that no-one will ever do something for me ever, and I have to get it done myself, I DON’T have all the time in the world and I really need to start to use my time wisely.

I constantly have an excuse prepared whenever I am doing or have to do something, whether it be an assignment,something at work or even in my  personal life, I say “I haven’t done this before”, “I can’t do this” and sometimes lie, saying I have more to do than I actually do.

I do all of these things out of fear, but … fear of what?! Failing, succeeding, WHAT?!… turing 20 was kind of a wake up call because honestly I am not operating at my full potential and I’m just going wherever the breeze takes me without direction, and I don’t want that!

I’m always talking about how I want to become “Legendary” and run an “Empire” but my day to day choices and actions don’t reflect that, I’ve been living life expecting it to just be given to me, and to be fair that isn’t really going to happen, so I need to get up and go!

I’m learning to be shameless and just do and say what I feel whether it be picking a subject in school my mother doesn’t approve of or even something as simple as telling someone you like and appreciate them. In this life you don’t get anything without asking for it or getting it yourself, and asking only works if you’re a child!

Now that its the new year and I’m an “adult” hahaha I have to try and make something of myself! I start uni this year and a lot of changes are on the horizon, so I gotta slay!!

2 thoughts on “20 Now..

  1. Cicely-Renee says:

    Happy birthday hot stuff. I loved your transparency what is crazy is that you got the epiphany at such a young age. Most people don’t get that for a long time.

    And what is an adult really? 80%of the time I don’t feel like one lol. I mean I take care of business but this whole adult thing is overrated lol. I feel like most adults lose their love for life and you love life so I don’t want you to lose it and get caught up adulting lol.

    Happy birthday again old man!!

    Liked by 1 person

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